Get real...

Well, first off. Welcome to my blog.

Secondly, the purpose of this blog is for me to rant at length about the pyschological abuse of being a healer in World of Warcraft.  It will be a litany of the completely assanine expectation of some OP tank stroking his epeen and then complaining about wipes that were HIS OWN DAMNED FAULT.

And trust me - I also tank.  And when I say it's your own damned fault - I'm telling you, I've done more than you with less because I ACTUALLY MANAGED AGGRO and didn't stroke my epeen about damage.  Since the purpose of a tank in PvE content is NOT FUCKING DPS.  NO it's fucking not.  It's threat production, not damage production.  Threat and aggro management, in combination with damage mitigation.  All of your defensive abilities and various strikes and abilities revolve around these 3 things.  Why do you think you have shouts that pull 3+ enemies to you at once. Shouts and effects that splash aggro onto the mobs around you?  And why is do you think that you have damage mitigation effects that COULD use if you weren't so fucking busy convincing yourself you're invincible when ultimately - you're fucking NOT.

So if you don't take the content seriously because you're oh so very OP and get the party wiped.  It's YOUR fucking fault.  If I have to heal eveyr member of the party continuously because you're not holding aggro...  the fault is YOURS.

Oh and my number #1 fucking pet peeve of the moment...  tanks that don't carry food.  I didn't take you on to raise mother fucker.  It's not up to me to cover the cost of ridiculous amounts of water to cover your fucking food bill.  If I have to sit and drink and you're not healed up...  SHOW SOME FUCKING COURTESY AND EAT.

If I have to top you off, then I'm right back out of mana...  and the second you're healed you dash in...  while I need to drink again because you couldn't lower yourself to sit down and FUCKING EAT.  Then YOU just caused the party wipe.

And why is it like this?  Because I'm newly level 85 - and while I am gear appropriate for the dungeons I'm running.  I am at the limit of my gear and I cannot heal both in and out of combat.  So if you want me to heal you because you can't fucking eat... and then also heal you in combat...  then you're a fucking egotistical asshole that's causing wipes.  YES, YOU FUCKING ARE.  This is the #1 Reason that PUGs wipe.  No consideration for the needs of the party, or what is realistic to expect from the healer.

Here's a rule of thumb...  if you're 30 ilvls higher than your healer.  SLOW YOUR FUCKING ROLL - MORON.  Pause between battles.  Eat if you need to.  Behave like you actually WANT to finish dungeon.  Go into each battle fresh, and your healer can carry you through.  Expect them to pay your food bill with their mana... then you're just fucking the party with your unrealistic expectations.  ESPECIALLY if you immediately dash in the second your healed...  and your healer is down 20-25% just topping you off.  They start the battle at 75-80% paying your food bill.  And they come up short at the end of the a battle... and GUESS WHO'S FAULT THAT IS?  You can't be bothered to eat, rushing in without a ready check fuck up.  It's YOURS.

If you put your characters maintenance needs onto another player - then YOU are the source of fail.  Not them.  You're expecting them to carry themselves and you too.  Cheapskate inconsiderate, poor aggro holding tank fuck up.

So the moral of the story is - PUGs fail regularly because of this behavior.  Just like a caster deals in mana and needs a chance to replenish between battles.  The tank and melee classes deal in health...  and they should top it off between battles.  This is fair play and in my experience... would have prevented 75-80% of wipes from ever occuring.

You support your toons needs, I'll support mine... and TOGETHER we will finish the dungeon.  I can't carry you.

So here's my list of good party behavior:

1)  Pause for readiness checks (and wait for responses) before you dash in.  Do NOT dash from one battle to the next without pause.  You'll fuck yourself, and the party will pay for it.  This is typically how it happens - the party is still running to catch up with the tank who's at the edge of spell range...  then the tank dashes forward out of spell range.  Then when the healer catches up - you've already fucked yourself.  And when you complain they don't want to hear it because it was YOUR FUCKING FAULT.

2)  When the healers or casters call for mana - if you're not at full health.  EAT!  Don't make the caster carry you - if his mana is right on ilvl appropriate he will not be able to pay your food bill and cover the party's healing needs during combat (literally - it brings them up short by 20-25% at the end of the battle).  Sorry - that's how Blizzard made the game.  You may be in end game gear... but that doesn't mean everyone using the dungeon finder is.  This is an unrealistic expectation - the sooner you disavow yourself of this bad notion, the sooner you stop behaving like an wipe causing asshat.

3)  Treat a PUG like a they're all in blue gear until you've determined their limits.  Work your way up to pushing the pace.  Make sure you can survive playing by the number 1st before you go off script.  Don't expect everyone to be overpowered.  This is an unrealistic expectation, and it causes wipes.

4) Pause long enough to allow your crowd control people to remove as much enemy DPS and heals from the equation as possible BEFORE you engage.    The amount of damage being received has to be controlled and the duration of the fight limited.  If these 2 things are true and you follow the first 3 rules...  you'll have a great run.  It might be a little slower - but MUCH faster than running back from wipe after wipe.  Patience pays off in success - which is more valuable than speed.

The moral of the story is, if you're expectations are realistic going in and you behave like you want to survive.  you will be a source of win.  But if you're a demanding jackoff who doesn't attend to the needs of his own toon and expect someone else to do it for you.  You're killing the whole party by being a demanding jackoff.  Take a downer or something and chill.  Slow down, mellow up, focus.  Don't run your mouth about being more powerful than some other player - because you know what.  They're not going to say, "oh pardon me, I'll put on my good gear now."  You can rest assured they're already wearing their best gear.  It's not going to change anything to bitch about it - so your best move...  your VERY BEST MOVE...  is to play the hand you're dealt.  This is much better than blaming someone else for your unrealistic expectations.

Oh and when a healer tells you from the outset that he at the extreme edge of his gear when he walks in the door and warns you to play responsibly.  Then you ignore them (when they're acknowledging their limits) and dash in without a readiness check and at half health in a heroic...  you're a fucking idiot who fails on so many levels I can't tell you how bad you fail.  There aren't enough metrics to describe the dimensions of the magnitude of fail you're committing.  Lets break it down:

Expecting to survive a heroic crit at 1/2 health... unrealistic.

The expectation that the healer will have enough mana to recover your health deficit AND pull you through the battle...  unrealistic.

The notion that you can survive without using any damage mitigation and let threat spread to the party so the healer can't stay focused on you...  unrealistic.

And then talking shit at the healer because you didn't take care of your toon, only demoralizes the healer which does NOT improve survivability.  It results in a verbally abused real person who doesn't want to take the blame for your stupid ass behavior, and as a result doesn't want to hear it...  and no matter how much you bitch at them... it doesn't solve the real problem.  And that problem is... you're a fucking moron who isn't attending to the needs of his own character and doesn't care about anyone else's.  And you're fucking the whole party in the process.

Survival depends on the whole party and not Mr. showboat.  Have realistic expectations... and get real about survival.  You'll have a lot more success with a lot fewer frustrations.

Anyway...  now I feel better and that was the point.